When your father gives himself to a crazy woman.....

My father had a heart attack on June 30th. On July 3rd they declared that he couldn't make decisions for himself. Now in my opinion this determination was about 12 months late.

You see, just after my mother died, a long time female friend of my mother and father started to pursue my father. This woman had a husband who was dying and while he was dying, she pursued my father. Her children knew she was pursuing my dad. They even considered contacting me to let me know and to warn me.

During the next next year and until her husband's death, she continued "insert" herself into my father's life and once her second husband died, she was front and center, giving my dad advice, taking care of him, etc. Telling him his kids didn't care about him. Lying to him so that he would be dependent on her.

Fast forward a few years and she has barred his kids from seeing him, gotten him to sign an affidavit filled with lies about another woman he was seeing at the same time, gotten him to take that woman to court for harassment (case was thrown out by the judge btw) and coerced my father into agreeing to remove my brother as durable power of attorney. In addition, she threatened her oldest son with removal from her will if he didn't agree to be said durable power of attorney for my father.  

I mean, WTF. My co-workers call it a Telenovella.  And it is.  This woman is demented. I know it was ultimately my father's doing to agree to live with her, but this is ridiculous. Much more has happened that just this. Our calls don't get through. Our letters don't get through. She lied to our father telling him the court is barring him from calling us. TOTAL LIES!!

So now, my father is at her house. The heart attack was bad enough so that he isn't expected to live until winter. We cannot see him, talk to him, write to him and he can't see his children, grand children and great grand children.

For us, it wasn't about the money, all we wanted to do was see him without her around. We never wanted to take him away from her. We only want him to be happy.

My heart is sad and my "fix-it" brain is frustrated and anxious all the time. I can't fix it. If they had declared him unable to make his own decisions 8 months ago, we wouldn't be in this situation. We would be able to see our father, he would be living with this woman, we wouldn't have taken him away from her. All would be fine in his little world and hers.

Someone told me you can't fight crazy......    They are correct. But, it won't stop me from reaching out to the children of her second husband to see if they were treated the same way my brothers and I are being treated.